DemoniconNemesis

Okay this is a just cause post. It won't make sense to most but to a few it might.. in some areas. Anyways..

So yeah.. Why is it there are several different ways for us to say we feel trapped, or in what way we feel "trapped?" But when we don't feel that way or we get out of the situations that made us feel trapped our moment of freedom seems to be forgotten, fade, or end? And also the only way we can say we feel at that moment is "Free?" It boggles my mind sometimes honestly. Sound stupid? It only goes on from here.

Addiction.. Yep. I'm going there. Not to the normal things like smoking or drinking. My take on those is "It's your body. Your consequences, so what happens to you and your body is your fault." The end. No, my addiction is to life. Creation. Godhood and fantasy. Truth be told? I am addicted to roleplaying. No I'm not referring to in the bedroom or anything like that. Fuck I'd give it a try honestly sounds fun. But to the symbol, the meaning, the experience of roleplay. I run a tabletop game, a roleplaying game with my closest of friends and family. I create beings, give them life, personalities, sense of humors, attitudes. These people exist in my universe, my world and are very much a part of me. Sound crazy? I don't know or care as its so much fun. Beyond being a game master (GM), its fun to experience other peoples' worlds and see what its like to be there. To step out of the "everyday normal and be someone else, somewhere else, doing something else then just.. everyday.. same old same old... and feel like life is dull, boring, quiet.. and just.. nothing.. To those friends, comrades and fellow rpers I salute you. You know at least a taste of what I speak. Be it fantasy, superheroes, erotica, anime, or some other category not mentioned I say good for you. You live the dreams of your childhood. You bring that being to life and you enjoy that adventure no matter where it takes you. To you who have no idea what I speak just try it.

Love. So hard to find that special someone. We look and look and look.. Some of us our whole lives and never find them. To some lucky few, they do. Good to them. Love is a splendid thing no matter what science says. That warm, butterflies in the stomach, queasy, floating on cloud nine, dreamy, hazy, this person is the one feeling you get when you fall in love. Its literally the best feeling in the world isn't it? Ahh... The thought of waking up to the same wonderful person every morning and falling to sleep seeing them as the last thing before dream land has long been a dream of mine and I long for that day. I eagerly await it's arrival. I am a true, down to earth romantic. I love to share my romantic side to that special someone as much as possible. I also have no fear to show how much someone means to me, or doing things for the ones I love. I be damned for saying so then strike me dead.

Well the feeling for ranting has now passed. I hope you enjoyed the ride for those of you who actually stayed on the ride till now. There are t-shirts and souvenirs in the gift shop on your way out. Thank you for stopping out. We hope you'll come again. Have a nice day.

Okay so if I loose anyone or disturb anyone but I have been meaning to write this and I have decided today is the day. As the title says, I am going to do my best to explain the two sides to this man, as in me, myself, I. My yin is a very peaceful, loving, caring, gentle, cuddly, warm bundle of compassion and passion. My yang is a dark, mean, cruel, heartless, vindictive, lying, mercifulness monster who ares to only crush, hurt, upset and destroy anything and everything my yin cherishes. I have lashed out countless times at those who didn't deserve it, see it coming, or (for some) ever actually recover from. For this I am sorry. I have tried meditation, training, medications, soft mellow music, therapy, and many other numerous fables to temper the beast in. To those I've hurt, scared, upset, pissed off, or offended in the past I'm sorry and I can only say I'm sorry. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. To those who may see its wrath in the future I apologize ahead of time. Through out the years I have battled with both sides in my heart and head. I truly feared happiness as whenever I was happy those around me aways seemed to suffer. When I was hurting, upset or unhappy my friends and closest seemed happy, joyful and their lives couldn't be better but I would feel jealousy and hate towards them and not know why, so I'd stay away to not hurt their good fortune. I have scared myself, hurt myself, neglected, abused, tortured and punished myself for my sins as well, some to extremes some would say. These days I try to keep my anger under control and when I feel it coming out in me I leave so it doesn't get anyone. Sometimes it gets out and I don't realize it. I'm sorry for those days. On the days my yin is high I am sweet, gentle, helpful, chatty and goofy to entertain everyone in the room. My friends at least get a call from me and I'll ask how they are and chat with them. I will do favors more and brighten the day when I'm like that and someone is down. In short, on one side theres a devil, on the other a gentle angel, and smack dab in the middle is a weird, silly, nerdy, playful, child-like, cartoon, comic book, sci-fi, Transformers, anime, manga, dragon, medieval, magic, super-hero, super-villain, wrestling, rock-roll, techno, goth, wicca, pagan, spiritual, stand-up comic, romantic, gentlemen of a guy, aka ME. If you follow, good. If not, sorry. I can't say it any clearer. Welcome to the small glimpse of my life/ mind.

So its July 17th, and again I can't sleep... again. I am having writers block for my book, artist's block on drawing, and I just found out yesturday from my boss/ good friend, Eric, that my father pretty much doesn't anything to do with me or even want me around. I had a feeling about that my whole life since the age of 9.

I lost my home at the beginning of this year and was forced to move back to the house I grew up in and live with my eldest step-brother who hates and steals from me. Though the news isn't all bad as my relationship with my mother has never been stronger.She hates that I have to deal with the crap from the dick I live with.

I'm in love with the most amazing woman I've ever met. If she is reading this i hope she is smiling. I can't tell you her name as it must remain a secret for her own good but I can tell you that this gal is the best in my eyes. Her voice sings to my ears like angel hymns and her beauty makes my heart flutter like a hummingbird's wings flap. Her eyes are windows to the most wonderful soul I've ever seen and they only make me love her more.

Well on another note, I am thankfully moving soon down to Florida from this god forsaken state of Michigan. I can't wait as it will be a chance for me to start anew and really start my life. Though I have done plenty in my 29 years of life this will be my chance to really start my life without it being controlled by anyone else other than me. Plus with the tropical weather my bad joints and achey bones will do better than in the harshness of winter. I'm suppose to be moving down in a month or so so I'll keep ya posted. Thank to all who sat here and read all of this, hope it wasn't too boring for you.

The story of the Demonicons is not one of joy but hate, anger, betrayal, abandonment, and ultimately revenge. Back still around the first few hundred years of the second Cybertronian War, with the aid of Omega Supreme, the Guardian Robots, and the still fairly new Autobot Army, Megatron and his Decepticon forces seemed to beginning to finally crumble. Megatron knew he had to do something about the giant battle robots or his arm and army would be over before it had really gotten started. So, Megatron devised a plan and put it into action.

A small band of Decepticons stealthed their way into Iacon, the capital city of all Cybertron, and broke into the workshop of the creator of Optimus Prime, Alpha Trion. After a quick scuffle Alpha Trion was overpowered and transported back to the Decepticon base.  Once there Megatron wasted no time and forced Alpha to help Shockwave and Megatron design and build the world's largest, most powerful and most sadistic Transformer teams ever. So the blueprints were drawn up for six Mega sized, warrior class, Transformers.  Each warrior was designed with a different vehicle mode, Guardian Robot alloy hide, and an utter disregard for any Cybertronian life forms besides their own teams. Hence the Demonicons were born.

Nemesis, Goliath, Ogre, Monolith, Marauder, and Enforcer, one of, if not thee most dangerous team ever assembled. These ruthless, monsters of machines were a force that just seemed to sweep away their advisories. Any Transformers that got in the Demonicons' way never lived to tell the tale. Each member always kept parts of their prey, Nemesis kept the heads of all his victims, Goliath the insignias, Ogre the weapons, Marauder the left hand, Enforcer the eyes, and Monolith converted the bodies of his into bombs. But their lust for power, and combat quickly turned for the worst.

The news of these slaughters quickly got back to Prime and the Autobots. Luckily for them, the new Decepticon force was too much. The tide of power seemed to turn almost immediately but, it came at a cost, too high of a cost. Even with the victories the Demonicons were bringing in it didn't make up the loss of energon that they consumed to recharge not only their gigantic bodies but their heavy weaponry. To make matters even worse was that the Demonicons were causing havoc in the Decepticons. Starting fights for no reason, damaging, and/ or killing Decepticons for being "in the way," where just some of the problems Megatron faced. So Megatron decided to rid himself of his problem in the quickest and best way he thought possible. He sent them on a "secret mission."

Nemesis leaded the attack on an Autobot storage depot on the far side of Cybertron. Everything seemed to be going smoothly till the reinforcements arrived. It was a massive battle, but in the end the warriors returned victorious but badly in need of recharging. That's when Megatron made his move, and reversed the polarity on the recharging stations the Demonicons used.


Completely powerless and in stasis-lock the Demonicons were loaded into a Cybertronian space cruiser, the computer programmed to head away from Cybertron and the Nava-computer was erased. Then the space craft was launched and the war continued on. Countless years go by till a stray lightning bolt from a cosmic storm the ship was passing by struck the ship and re energized the passengers. Recharged, pissed off, and feeling a new taste of freedom, the Demonicons began a raid on the galaxy, destroying worlds, wiping species from existence all the while becoming meaner, darker, and more twisted killing machines. But one thing remained unfinished in their eyes, their revenge on Megatron, the Decepticons, and all of Cybertron.

Goliath granted his great leader, Nemesis, his one request, "Make the Demonicons the biggest, meanest, most powerful, most evil creations to ever walk Cybertron!!!" Goliath gifted his comrades with two new abilities to add to their arsenal. First new ability was drain energon and spark out of the body of any Transformer. This was done by a special device integrated into their palms. The second ability was to combine into a giant warrior, Legion. With these new powers the Demonicons survived and eventually found their way back to their home planet and took their old base in the condemned gladiatorial fighting arena. Now they wait for their time to strike and gently manipulate the ongoing war from the shadows.